Ever come to a boulder 6 feet tall thats in reach of children? It is an automatic thing that they want to climb it or jump off of it without fail or fear. Life in everyday moments brings me lessons and the lesson I want to share with you is that of What is the ROCK of Your own Success?
“When it comes to style swim with the current, when it comes to principles stand like the rock.” Thomas Jefferson
The truth behind your success needs to be tried and tested like rock, that when the waves of disappointment or failure try to overtake you, you still stand. Success is not a temporary thing or a certain destination, the true meaning of success is a consistent day in and day out habit of discipline, integrity and love. What are the back to basics systems or process you can always lean on when things get shakey? Consider in your thinking these three keys to the ROCK of your Success:
1) Your Rock should be the beacon of hope that others see when they inquire about your success.
The main point of success is that others can see your transparent nature in your success, and what does that look like? It’s you being the same in your success and behind your success. Others know you are the same day in and day out.
2) Your Rock should be the thing you default to positively when challenges arise.
We all need anchors in our life, what is the solid rock you stand when it gets “rocky?” Good healthy habits that have sustained you when you get off course or when unexpected turns come up.
3) Your Rock should be able to support others on their journey as well, whether to get another perspective or a place to hang out until they can move.
Every ship is equipped with an anchor, and in life everyone should know when to drop the anchor and when to sail. At times your success and your behind the scene habits are anchors or light for others on their journey.
Remind yourself of your Rock when moving towards your success, don’t get to high and don’t get to low. Stay steady in your journey to greatness. Be the “Rock”
Children ask lots of questions, lots of why’s and can I’s. I noticed my son asking me a (can I) question, and before he got the first full word out, he interrupted himself to say, I know what you are going to say and walks away dejected and let down. I pressured him to tell me what he wanted and I used a new tactic, a new kind of No! And this can be applied to those you work with or any type of relationship.
These three words; Yes, Maybe and No bring a fluctuation of emotion pre question and post question, but you and I have the ability to empower others by how we respond to their needs.
As Leaders or Maximizers in our everyday lives we provide solutions not yet discovered or entertained and the better the solution the better chance of building lasting trust and open communication with others. As a parent I am tasked to provide a solution not yet discovered and empower my child, children and spouse on a consistent basis.
Why is this important? This is important in the process of moving relationships or purpose forward. When you can identify your purpose , you will need these tactics to stay on purpose and not let the word pull you off. Dialogue is key to communication and communication brings along with it trust. And people, love to do business with those they know , like and trust.
The 4th Option:
The new kind of No, I discovered that works well for me and there are others is ,
For me what I could see is that it validated my son and allowed me to be creative in how to meet his need /want by still setting boundaries as a parent.
Is this 100% proof, no way! But, I believe the word no by itself leaves out a pool of shared meaning that would allow for a lasting , deep, and rich relationship. And the effort could prove to be priceless for long term gain.
Be Creative this week,
Mario Fernandez said it best, “The Human spirit is nurtured by praise, as much as a seedling is nurtured by the soil, the water, and the sun.”
Imagine playing in a football game , packed to the rafters full of fans. The game starts and kick off happens, you are standing on the 2 yard. Line to receive the kick as the ball floats through the air. You catch the ball and your blockers are in front of you, you dodge one tackle then another, cut to your left and then sprint 98 yards. As you reach the goal line you dive into the end zone to make a statement. Just as you begin your celebration, you expect to hear the crowd roar and your teammates to surround you, but all you get is nothing. No crowd cheering, and as you watch your teammates they have casually walked to the sideline as if you did something wrong or nothing at all.
4 Keys of Recognition:
1. Make Recognition Authentic-
There is a fine line between too much recognition and not enough recognition. The seedling if given too much water will drown out, and too much sun will burn out. Follow your instinct as to how much and when you should give recognition. In the beginning more recognition is needed as the person grows , less is needed as they mature.
2. Make Recognition Personable-
The details of the cause for recognition is a connection to the heart, it means that you care. Being married almost 19 years, I know better to not just tell my wife she looks great, I must be specific or else! (Hahaha) Remember to be specific.
3. Make Recognition Public-
If at all possible, give recognition in public in front of others. People value being validated and made credible to others. Don’t make it awkward, just be sincere!
4. The Twist: Recognize yourself
Its possible to forget about the most important person to you and that is yourself. It is never wrong to recognize the good you do and the good in you on a consistent basis. Many times it takes others to help us turn this dial , but it is ultimately up to you to verbalize your recognition to yourself. Find the good, the truth of who you are , embrace all that cool things you have done and continue to do and pat yourself on the back.
“A kind word is worth its weight in gold and will outlast the moment it is given.”- Milton Herring
Pulling up in a fast food drive thru- (don’t hate me those that can’t stand it, bear with me). The last time I went through a drive thru I was asked after ordering a sandwich if I wanted to make that a value meal? I quickly said no, because all I wanted was a sandwich and a water (counting calories here). But the question stuck with me for a bit, because I have changed my outlook on food and working to become more healthy fit and extend my quality of life. So to me at this point in life this value meal is not value, because of what happens in my body after consuming a large fry and a large drink with the sandwich. I am not condemning , just pointing out my life.
So, the value add concept , what does it come down to in our personal lives and how do we bring it, give it, handle it. This word “Value” will be an ever increasing topic but allow me to share some points on how to right now add the value we seek.
Be Responsive In Your Work-
1. Be generous with your communication with your relationships. This shows credibility
2. Be responsible with your yourself, your mission in life and most importantly ask good questions to give yourself the ability to respond intelligently.
Offer A World Class Experience-
1. Listen to those in your relationships
2. Ask questions beyond task orientation
3. Make being with you, like no other experience
Under Promise And Over Deliver-
1. Deliver according to expectations set/Execute
2. Be the go to for what you know best.
3. Be consistent with everyone in relation to you, or no matter how much others can give you.
Build An Invaluable Relationship –
1. People do business and build long term relationships with those they know, like or trust.
2. Relationship will most likely trump trials and troubles, keep the relationship tight.
3. Go deeper with your relationship. Ask more insightful questions of others.
Be Growth Oriented-
1. Learn your skills and talents and master your craft. Applied Knowledge is power.
2. Teach others what you know
Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.- Albert Einstein
Hope this blesses you today-Coach Milton
While having a conversation with my wife, my son runs into the room to share some big news he heard, he goes dad I have a quote for you, “if there is no tomorrow, you must live extra big today!” (In other words live the maximized life) I say, wow that’s profound son, where did you hear that from, response the Great King Julian. After a second to ponder who this King Julian was , I ask “who is that?” From Madagascar!! After laughter and making a shorter story we talked about that quote and some good points came out of it.
Belief of the Maximized Life
Key Statement: Maximizers are those who possess the strength of character that enables them to keep believing , keep planning, keep thinking, keep meditating, and keep working to experience their full potential in the face of less-than-optimal conditions.
If you agree with this statement then you can call yourself a Maximizer. Now, Ill share some benefits and blessings of living the maximized life.
Blessings of the Maximizer
Key Statement: Maximizers , like all people , eventually reach a “breaking point , “ but instead of breaking down they break through, which is a matter of choice.
It truly is a blessing to have the fortitude to live with courage a maximized life and become a Maximizer.
Benefits of Maximized Living:
More Peace- If tomorrow doesn’t exist breathe deep and take the pressure off.
More Joy – Your interaction with others are represented by happiness and joy.
More Confidence- Stress of tomorrow spreads your confidence in today thin, focus on the tasks and interactions of the day.
Key areas to Maximize
Relationships- Maximize the use and time of your relationships, who would you forgive, confront or encourage today?
Goals - are there any today you can attain or scratch off your list and would you envision a bigger tomorrow if granted one?
Commitments – The time is now to be a person of your word, let your yes be yes and your no be no. Be loyal to your cause and loyal to those involved in it with you.
“If there is no tomorrow, you must live extra big and maximize your life today!”- King Julian + Milton Herring
Leadership is about influence. Everyone influences someone. Therefore, in a sense, everyone is a leader. Sociologists tell us that even the most introverted individual will influence 10,000 other people during his or her lifetime.
As I look back on my life, I have been influenced by so many people — my parents, teachers, friends and family. Just as I have been influenced by others, inevitably what I do and say will influence others for good or ill.
As the African proverb puts it, ‘If you think you’re too small to make a difference, you haven’t spent the night with a mosquito.’ The mosquito makes a difference in an annoying way, but the principle is the same. One person can stop a great injustice. One person can be a voice for truth. One person’s kindness can save a life. Each person matters.
History is in many ways a story of influence. In reality we all influence one another in all sorts of ways — from what to have for lunch and what films to watch, to more important matters of truth and ethics.
What we do as individuals, as a community or a nation affects others. How do you use that influence for good? How do you maximize your influence?
David Starr Gordon- the world stands aside to let anyone pass who knows where he is going”
Influence is passionate-
* Purpose is the foundation of passion
“Do you know what you are to be doing?”
Potential another driving force of passion- “ when the potential is gone the passion is gone”
- Your calling leads to passion
3 keys to Passion:
* 1. Passion is personal
* 2. Passion is progressive
* 3. Passion is contagious
Influence is big thinking
* 1. See the potential others do not see
* 2. Say the positive words others do not say
* 3. Show personal interest others do not show
* 4. Share the possibilities others do not share
Use your powers to influence for good, it’s the noble thing to do when potential is on the line.
A young man went to the doctor complaining of headaches and migraines. While explaining the symptoms he is stating the he doesn’t do things like other people do, like alcohol, drugs, smoking , or staying out late. The doctor responds with a hmm! The doctor asks does it hurt here, here, and here as he presses on his head. The young man is relieved that the doctor will give him the cure. The doctor responds, “I know what the problem is as I touch your head?” “What is it?”, asks the young man. “Your Halo is too tight!”
People are constantly working and striving to be perfect. What does it look like? It looks like sitting in a business meeting and not wanting to be called out for not having it all together, it’s as a man or husband trying to guide and lead his family and not wanting them to see that he doesn’t know it all. It looks like a man in a relationship with a woman and not letting her know you have chinks in your armor. However the picture of perfection is for you, its all a LIE!
4 Key areas that will allow you and I to put a Bruce Lee chop to the perfection lie-
1. Admit your blind spots/faults
This is not merely sharing your point of weakness, but its recognizing that your blinds posts are just that blinds posts and the enlist the help of others to grow.
2. Ask for Help/Advice
The greatest asset to growth is not to have to be everything to everybody, being comfortable with “I don’t know” is very freeing, but knowing who to ask is even more empowering.
3. Worry less about what others think
Most people are more concerned about themselves that what you mean to them, correcting the story you tell yourself about what others think and focus more on what you say and think about yourself will prove to be amazing.
4. Be open to learning from others
See others greater than yourself. L.I.F.E. (Learning Is For Ever) having an attitude to grow and learn will set you free from the trap of perfection. I constantly learn things from my 10 year old son.
Listen, how can an imperfect being ever accomplish a perfect life? Answer, WE cannot perform perfection, it’s a word we made up that has tripped up humanity for so many years.
Have a great week!
I learned a valuable lesson about life and I can also apply this word narrow to many areas of living successfully, I'll let your mind and heart determine your own story. The story i'll share is the one that comes from when I made my first six figure income, It was the time not long ago when so much had my attention, sports, TV, the latest news, social networking sites, other unhealthy devices, etc. and making less than 35K/year, now I believe some of these things have there place. I just didn't understand that this broad living this selfish , fearful living was making me waste all my efforts on too many things that ultimately did not produce any more fruit in my life.
In comes a mentor into my life at the time and there were many things I learned from him. This one thing that I share today, was that I was to "narrow" my living, get super focused on a dream and a goal that would have to include more than just me. A dream or purpose that consumed me just like those other things did. I had to have discipline , put myself last, constantly and daily remind myself of the greatness inside of me, and take many steps of faith. This path proved to be very difficult for the first year, very difficult, I am still growing. I had to rewire my thinking with the books I read, the people I listened to, and the association I had.
I love this quote that Matthew the disciple of Jesus wrote of Jesus, "Go through the narrow gate..the gate to life is very narrow..this road is hard to follow, few will find it." Broad is easy, most people will live their lives that way. I believe because you are reading this you have been called to follow the narrow way, success in all areas of life and an example to many.
How To Stick with Good And Healthy Habits
Do you really want to stick to a good healthy habit? Well you gotta listen to this because this has been proven in my life so many years that when I feel like I get off track, I just revert right back to it and make it as plain as possible.
The most recent habit that I am really proud of, is the one that I chose to make my health a priority. And making my health a priority there were a lot of things that I needed to change, well I wasn’t so off from my habits but there were some questionable habits in there. What am I saying, my habits were terrible!
So, the first thing was to find a way to start diluting the negative talk in my head. I needed to change my input quick and in a hurry. What I did was I reached out to a nutrition and fitness coach by the name of Jeffrey at Revolution fitness (Facebook, Instagram). What Jeffrey began to do was start to ask me really good questions, questions that I never really took the time to think about or maybe not even really wanted to answer.
What these questions the words made me to start thinking more concretely about my health and seriously why wasn’t I making myself a priority. Did I really want to live a long healthy life, do I really want to suffer from chronic pains as I got older, do I really want to be around for my grandchildren? These are questions and the input that I needed to start me on my journey and really come to an honest and open dialogue with myself and my wife.
These thoughts and answers to the questions that I had in my head and heart let me take action immediately. I began to journal and write down my goals every day and speak them out loud, I spoke to myself constantly about how proud I was even for the little that I did, or the major things I would do. I thought and spoke of this as a long-term project. Meaning years in the making (I’m in year two) I began to just get up and move.
I started off with walking them a fitness plan was delivered to me from my fitness coach to follow and a meal regiment. I was determined to just do and at one day at a time making each day a resolution to conquer my fears and thoughts and make myself a priority.
To keep myself accountable I would reach out to my coach once a week give him updates through myfitness pal tracking (an app) my macros and eating. Also, I would let him know my weight every week and I posted socially on Snapchat my first year each day whether I felt like it or not ( so others would see it)
To give you a formula of what I used here it is below:
Having and adopting a good and healthy habit lifestyle will lead you to more peace, more joy, more clarity, and more power in the moment.
Thank you for allowing me to encourage you today on your path and journey and helping you to maximize any given moment in your life for success.
Call To Action-
Pick a slot for 15 minutes of free coaching to help you with your life goals. Go to www.miltonherring.com/15min choose a time and leave me your information.
Recently I had got an email from someone and initially the first line in the email said, it had my name and then it sounded more Condescending than anything really. I asked myslelf are you really reading the whole email correctly, Milton.
Immediately my mind went to a negative place. And I tried to calm down for a few minutes, because I initially I was aware of the fact that my blood pressure was rising and I was going to a place I really didn’t want to go mentally, so then I took my time and read the email fully once again.
Now I wonder how many of you have ever been in that place before where you have read something or you saw something and initially in your mental perspective went to that of a negative place or negative intent? I know I’m not the only one here. So let’s be honest with one another that it’s really really a challenge to stay positively engaged in how you approach situations. I come across my life in different moments, different opportunities, different people different conversations it’s amazing how I approach the thing that makes it what the thing is.
How about you? Now it’s really not your fault; as a kid you presume positively intently but everything came crashing down. As a child, You were happy you were excepting, loving and didn’t hold grudges. You didn’t have man hurtful things, you didn’t have people let you down so you’re just a happy person but what I want to challenge is that over the course of time as you became an adult, you became older your spirit has shifted to such a way that immediately because of experiences you have had, immediately you presume negative instead of positive.
If there’s anything I can do and share with you today is that it’s practice, it’s a work in progress to presume positive intent. How you approach things may very well be how things end up as a result. So, presume positively have caution when needed because that’s part of life to have caution but if you presume positive intent more than any approach this will be beneficial. The right mindset and the right eye will serve you with less stress and give you a better to best outcome.
So maximizers, if your approach is right then your outcome will be right. Thanks for your attention-Coach Milton
Milton is genuine, persistent, and sincere. There are very few things that detract Milton from his pursuit of what he believes in. His attitude is fantastic and professionalism top notch. -
International speaker, creator of Maximizing Moments with Milton and the Author of Your Purpose, Your App -How to Stop Drifting and Start Living.