Not being an expert on relationships, but having experience does help. I truly understand the burden and desire to build trust in relationships. It’s not uncommon to assume some level of trust in a new relationship but sometimes that trust is misplaced or misunderstood. The question isn’t should you trust; it’s how do you build trust so your relationship can grow and thrive?
Before you can build or restore trust, you have to understand what it means to you and her. Clearly communicating your expectations and understanding what the other person needs is the foundation for building a long-lasting relationship.
The problem is I/we tend to shy away from these conversations when a relationship is new for fear of scaring the other person away. Or, when the relationship has broken down in trust. And by not having the conversation, assuming you still have the opportunity to, assumptions are made which can lead to disagreements and even betrayal down the road.
Take the time to understand what she is looking for in a relationship and make sure your needs are expressed. When you begin there, building trust becomes much easier. To help you take the next steps…
Here Are 10 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship For Men:Earn ItDon’t assume trust exists and always be working to earn it. When you stop taking trust for granted and make it a priority, you will be conscious of your actions and the perceptions of those actions to her.
Keep Your PromisesIt makes sense that you want to keep promises you make to her, but often the little things get overlooked. Make keeping your promises about little things as important as keeping your promises about the big things. Call when you are late, remember to pick up that item from the grocery store, fill up gas in her car when she needs it. While these things may seem small, they go a long way towards building trust with her.
Keep SecretsDo not keep secrets from each other, instead keep them for each other. Keep your personal conversations at home. It is only right to talk about something once you hear the other person bring the subject up in a conversation. Also realize, she might share information only with certain people. It’s her story, so let her tell it and flow from there.
Do not keep secrets from each other, instead keep them for each otherCommunicate Openly and In PersonMake it a rule that most communication, especially important subject matter, must happen in person. The true meaning of a message can get lost via text, email and sometimes even on the phone. Make sure you are both heard and understood by talking face to face.
Don’t JudgeYou might not understand why something is important to the other person, but the fact that it is important is all that matters. Before you can trust, you must respect each other and your differences without judgment.
Become VulnerableThis can be tough Men! But, be real with and that means sharing things that you often keep hidden. The ultimate sign of trust is living your truth and by doing so she will be more comfortable living hers.
Be ForgivingTrusting doesn’t mean mistakes won’t happen and when they do be forgiving. Holding on to past transgressions will only erode the trust in the relationship. We should feel the ability to make mistakes and so should she, without it being a constant source of contention. Letting go of the hurt, accepting the apology and moving on builds a trust based on truth and love.
Work on Your Personal GrowthWe are better people and better in our relationships when we take the time to work on our personal growth. It’s important in any relationship for the people in it to grow as a couple and as individuals. It’s a focus on our personal growth that keeps the relationship solid and the trust in each other growing. Read, listen, counseling all these are essential for busilding trust in your relationships.
Be SupportiveIt is important in any relationship to be supportive of the other person. It is even more important to show that support when we are in a stage of building trust. If one person in the relationship doesn’t feel that they can take a risk, make mistakes or try new things without support, the relationship will falter. On the other hand, being supportive in good times and bad opens us up to living our truth knowing someone has our back.
Disagree in PrivateA public forum is never a place to voice a disagreement. If what she is saying doesn’t sit well with you, discuss it at home. Often disagreeing in front of other people can shame or humiliate the other person. This kind of behavior will damage your lines of communication and your trust factor. Waiting until you get home offers the benefit of formulating your thoughts in a respectful way to encourage an honest and open discussion.
Building trust isn’t hard when you approach your relationship with respect and understanding.The basic principle of trust is easy: do what you say you are going to do. Stay true to that and a trusting relationship will naturally begin to form. Lastly, remember to always pray together.
Milton is genuine, persistent, and sincere. There are very few things that detract Milton from his pursuit of what he believes in. His attitude is fantastic and professionalism top notch. -
International speaker, creator of Maximizing Moments with Milton and the Author of Your Purpose, Your App -How to Stop Drifting and Start Living.